Let Me Tell You a Secret...

By Dr.Stephen Juan



Psychological research shows that keeping secrets, especially distressing ones, can make the secret keeper sick. But we do not know if keeping a secret per se causes more illness symptoms or if it is something about the type of person who is secretive that tends to make them sicker.



For a century, psychiatrists, psychologists, and other clinicians have noted that patients often hold back important information from their therapist. This is so even if they want to get better and they know the therapist wants them to get better too.



This is called "self-concealment". The "self-concealer" keeps secrets that are perhaps too painful to recall, too stressful to reveal, or even too frightening to describe.



In On the Beginning of Treatment (1913), Sigmund Freud described the physical and psychological consequences of patients concealing information from the analyst.



It is now known that patients "self-conceal" in both long-term and short term therapeutic situations. And they keep both large secrets as well as small ones. Secrets seem to be of all kinds too. Judging from what patients do, more people are "self-concealers" than not. So it appears we humans are a very secretive lot - even with our own therapist.



Researchers have only recently begun to investigate how secrecy and nondisclosure can influence the therapeutic process and affect the patient’s physical and mental health. In 1990, psychologists Dr Dale Larson from Santa Clara University and Dr R L Chastain from Samuel Merritt College, both in California, reported in the Journal of Social and Clinical Pshychology evidence showing that "people who are high in self-concealment (i.e., the predisposition to keep secrets), as compared to those who are low in self-concealment, report having more physical and psychological symptoms".



Dr J W Pennebaker, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin and author of Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions (1997) proposed a three part theory for why secrecy seems to be harmful.



First, keeping a secret takes effort. Such inhibiting of behaviour requires the brain and body to work harder than it otherwise would. Second, when people cannot or otherwise do not reveal themselves, there is an increased probability of having obsessive thoughts developing around the secret. This also requires the brain and body to work harder. Third, conversely, the act of revealing "reduces autonomic activity".



So, the theory goes, telling a secret lifts a burden from mind, heart, and soul. Life is easier and the patient becomes healthier.



In 2000, Dr C E Hill and psychology colleagues from the University of Maryland at College Park observed in Psychological Bulletin that "secrecy may require considerable psychic energy which can leave the person with less energy to deal with other important issues". They also argued that secretive people "come to feel inauthentic, fearing that they are accepted only for the social mask they wear for their therapist". This too causes stress and stress causes illness.



But what of the question, is it keeping a secret per se or something about the type of person who is secretive that tends to make people sicker?



In the October 2006 Journal of Personality, Drs Anita Kelly and Jonathan Yip from the Department of Psychology at the University of Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana, presented evidence showing that the process of keeping a secret predicts fewer symptoms, whereas the personality trait of "high self-concealment" predicted more symptoms. They put 86 volunteers through a battery of tests and arrived at this conclusion.



In any case, Grandma was right.



Coming clean is good for you. It's no secret.

Your Personality

Whether you're a young adult trying to find your place in the world, or a not-so-young adult trying to find out if you're moving along the right path, it's important to understand yourself and the personality traits which will impact your likeliness to succeed or fail at various careers.

It's equally important to understand what is really important to you. When armed with an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and an awareness of what you truly value, you are in an excellent position to pick a career which you will find rewarding.



1. Take this quiz

http://apps.facebook.com/mypersonalitytest/quiz.php?quizid=5220&fromresult=1

Take time to understand the questions and answer truthfully. If there are any words that you do not understand, look up an online dictionary.

2. Your Personality Traits

Based on scientific methodology, you answer a series or questions to evaluate yourself on four dichotomies.

Extraverted - Introverted
Sensing - iNtuitive
Thinking - Feeling
Judging - Perceiving



Thus, there are sixteen possible combinations, usually abbreviated with four letters like INTP. They are also known as the Promoter, Crafter, Performer, Composer, Administrator, Organizer, Provider, Protector, Communicator, Dreamer, Champion, Healer, General, Mastermind, Inventor, and Professor.

Which one are you?


3. Mine is ENFJ = Communicator



ENFJs generally have the following traits:
* Genuinely and warmly interested in people
* Value people's feelings
* Value structure and organization
* Value harmony, and good at creating it
* Exceptionally good people skills
* Dislike impersonal logic and analysis
* Strong organizational capabilities
* Loyal and honest
* Creative and imaginative
* Enjoy variety and new challenges
* Get personal satisfaction from helping others
* Extremely sensitive to criticism and discord
* Need approval from others to feel good about themselves

The flexibility of these characteristics leave the ENFJ a lot of leeway in choosing a profession. As long as they're in a supportive environment in which they can work with people and are presented with sufficient diverse challenges to stimulate their creativity, they should do very well.

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an ENFJ. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed here.

Possible Career Paths for the ENFJ:

* Facilitator
* Consultant
* Psychologist
* Social Worker / Counselor
* Teacher
* Clergy
* Sales Representative
* Human Resources
* Manager
* Events Coordinator
* Sales Representative
* Politicians / Diplomats
* Writers

and thats why I'm a teacher! =)



4. Google 'ENFJ' or whatever that you got. Find out more about yourself and the careers that suit you!

THE IDEALISTS
ENFJ
INFJ
ENFP
INFP

THE ARTISANS
ISFP
ESFP
ISTP
ESTP

THE RATIONALS
INTP
ENTP
INTJ
ENTJ

THE GUARDIANS
ISTJ
ESTJ
ISFJ
ESFJ

Source: http://www.keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=3&c=teacher



Tell me what you got!